Lincoln speaks to Bush

4 Oct 2002

"Wow, it's great to see you, sir... I mean I've seen your pictures here in the house, but this is ...[unintelligible]"

"Well, Mr. Bush, this is a great pleasure for me as well. We have a lot in common, being known as homespun folks, who yet, have managed surprisingly well according to both our admirers and our critics."

"Hey, I have a question for you. Whaddya think?"

"Pardon me?"

"How am I doin'?"

"Well, since you asked, I am somewhat concerned with what I'm seeing in terms of the United Nations Security Council. I'm not completely sure, but it seems as if you are saying one thing, with your actions saying another."

"Whaddya mean??"

"Well, the UNSC doesn't need to approve any U.S. action, using the sovereignty argument. I like that, this newfangled idea of a United Nations is still curious to me. But then, it seems like you are spending valuable national reserves of both good will and future security in courting the veto bearers on the Council so they'll support your wishes."

"Sure I am! Gosh darn, I need this unilateral action to be multilateral, even if they won't pay for it, the cheap bastards. And the way it is going, soon Russia will get their free trade and bennies, and China, well, there is a heck of lot to like about those boys, I'll tell you what!"

"Mr. Bush, you know my history. I've always aspired to be a strategic thinker, and felt compelled as a leader to look out into the future. I think you know of my address at Gettysburg -- I was wrong when I said that the world will little note, nor long remember what we said there. Now, thinking strategically, the warming and concessions to China in particular seem worrisome."

"Look, let me tell you about thinking strategically. Haven't you read my new National Security Strategy? It's great! Now what could be more strategic that a world shaped by Washington? Come on, you know you like it!"

"I've read a bit and thought a bit in my life. Political life is full of compromise, and the 21st Century is a different place than I knew when I was President. But let me leave you with a little wisdom I've always found helpful. It applies to the courting of UN Security Council votes, and also to grand strategy. If I may say so, it applies to you and your advisors."

"And don't you know I have a great team of advisors! Positively life saving, heck, they may even have wings underneath those three piece suits!"

"Mr. Bush, these words helped me when I was President. 'If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.'"

"Huh? O.K, fine, Mr. Lincoln, but I'd bet the ranch I only have six angels."