The "No Oil Bidness Left Behind" Act

25 October 2002

U.S. intentions in Iraq have been criticized for a lot of reasons. Chickenhawks fit to be deep-fried, a Zionist political cult that has lassoed the E-Ring and parts of Washington, general disrespect for Texan traditions of leading by example instead of by force, constitutional concerns and using war to resolve years of piss-poor U.S. energy policies.

Let's take a moment to clear something up about Iraq and the oil bidness, as they say in Texas.

Even though we bomb Iraq just about every day, and would like to hit Baghdad like a Texas tornado, we love Iraqi oil as much as chili, BBQ and pecan pie! Five percent of our oil imports come from Saddam, 566,000 barrels a day for the first half of this year. At $30 a barrel, that is about $17 million a day, $510 million a month, and close to $5 billion worth so far in 2002.

We buy up about 18% of every drop of oil Iraq exports, and most of it is sanction-clean, not smuggled product from resellers, meaning we pay full market prices, plus the odd surcharge.

Prior to Desert Storm, Iraq sent 2.8 million barrels a day (of 3 million produced) through pipelines in Turkey and Saudi Arabia. Back in 1990, 93% of Iraqi oil flowed to market directly through the back forty of folks who later supported the U.S. in the first Gulf War.

But Saddam's mama didn't raise no stupid cowboys. By 1995, Iraq started transforming its energy sector. It offered energy development contracts for 25 new oilfields, and started fixing up alternates to the Turkey and Saudi Arabian pipelines. China, Russia, France, Italy, Ireland, Malaysia, Australia, Canada, Brazil and South Korea sprinted faster than quarter horses heading for the barn at the end of the day.

In 1996, the sanctions against Iraq had weakened, and oil field capacity grew and grew, like a tall tale out of Amarillo, with technical support from many of the countries named above.

By 2001, Iraq was back to producing 3million barrels a day - with sanctions. I guess it's true! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

By 2005, Deutchebank forecasts OPEC will expand 2001 oil production capacity by 5.1 million barrels a day. 33% of this increase is from Iraqi fields. And that's with continued sanctions.

Sanctions keep crumbling, like armadillo carcasses in the hot Texas sun. U.S. companies have been shut out of sanction-era growth. They are sure to be left at the altar in the post-sanctions energy sector surge in Iraq, as sure as Texas has yellow roses.

When you add the $5 million a day we spend to watch the Northern and Southern no-fly zone to the $17 million a day we pay for every 500,000 barrels of oil - we're spending $22 million every day on Iraq!

$22 million a day just means we are paying over $40 a barrel or 135-140% of market prices for Iraqi oil. And Iraqis aren't buying a heck of a lot of products from us. Especially since Halliburton ended their sales in 2000. Now any Texan'll tell you that just ain't good bidness!!

Nobody likes a Texas-sized trade deficit. But we must be OK with it, a good friend even, to pay such a premium to buy almost one-fifth of Saddam's sole cash export. If I didn't know better, I'd say we kinda like old boy. Maybe we didn't really break up with him after all back in 1991! Maybe that's why we needed him to stay in Baghdad, but you'll have to ask Pops about that.

Now - we could lift sanctions, allow free trade and free movement of people to change the regime the old fashioned way (from within) plus get our boys in on oil deals immediately and save at least $3 million on the daily bombing bill.

Some of you non-Texans might want to put your money down on a plan like that.

But that's too laissez-faire and uncontrollable. Rodeo clown stuff. Instead, a far better solution is get this war going, spend between $100 and $200 billion plus rebuilding fees (Afghanistan monthly bill times 10) - and then we can get to the same exact place, a few thousand dead bodies later. But the important difference is, in this preferred scenario, we can be absolutely sure no U.S. oil bidness is left behind! Sounds good, huh?

A true son of Texas, also named George, sings a song about wanting something you can't stand to admit so bad you can't stand it, so all you can do is lie about it. A great song, and timeless too.

Sing with me now…..I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona. From the front porch you can see the sea…or is that Baghdad?